Dear Darlin
by Mrs Rose Whitlock Hale
Summary: Gibbs is struggling after Jenny's death, so decides to write a letter explaining his feelings. Songfic using Olly Murs 'Dear Darlin'


**I was struggling to sleep one early morning, and because of it, I thought I'd get on with some fictions I had been planning for a very long time indeed-it's just during the daytime my muse is lacking! But, whilst I was at the pub with my fiancé recently, I had some thoughts(luckily I always get thoughts in pubs, and enjoy spending time with my writing partners in these sort of venues), and whilst I can't sleep, I thought I'd try and make one of them a reality. I love NCIS, so this was the obvious place to start. And my speciality is songfics, so here we go. Also, my favourite artist, which will surprise no one, is Olly Murs, so his music was an obvious place to start (and he is very nice to look at too)!**

Title: Dear Darlin'  
**Song used:** Dear Darlin-Olly Murs  
**Description:** Gibbs is feeling really devastated by the death of Jenny, at the end of Season 5. He decides to get his feelings out in a letter, although she will never be able to read it. And I've interspersed his writing with the lyrics as they fit.

**I hope you like it. Please R & R.**

_**Gibbs' POV**_

I didn't want to have to do this. But it's come to a point where, now we can't talk, I'd write you this, even though your eyes will never be open again, will never see again, will never read these words. I'm sure you'd understand what I'm trying to say, even though this writing is pretty illegible, because my hands are shaking. I feel cold whenever I think of what happened today; I feel cold whenever I think about you.

_Dear darlin', please excuse my writing.  
I can't stop my hands from shaking  
'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight._

I know it's going to be hard, and I'm really going to miss you. You meant a lot to all of us, and let me say, the team have taken it hard. Ziva, Tony, Ducky, Abby and McGee-they all are really struggling without you to lead them. You know how they are though, putting on a brave face, but it's hit them harder than they let on. And me, well, I miss you, and it does hurt. We went through a lot together, not just as colleagues, but lovers too. We always tried to hide it, but I'm sure people knew. It was nice whilst it lasted, but as we know, in the world of Gibbs, nothing lasts!

_I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
And no one understands what we went through.  
It was short. It was sweet. We tried._

You will never read this, but I hope you knew. Or, if you can hear me, and I don't know if you can, but if so, I mean every word. You'll always have a part of my heart, a piece of the real me, the **Jethro** you knew, all those years ago. It may not be the person I am now, but I still have some of those feelings I had for you. They'll never die, just because you're no longer with us. Just because you're no longer with me.

_And if my words break through the wall  
And __meet__ you at your door,  
All I can say is "Girl, I mean them all."  
_  
My hands won't stop shaking, so my writing hasn't improved. When I think about you, all alone throughout those last moments, it strikes terror into me! What on earth were you thinking, Jenny? You didn't stand a chance...

_Dear darlin', please excuse my writing.  
I can't stop my hands from shaking  
'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight._

I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
And no one understands what we went through.  
It was short. It was sweet. We tried. We tried.

I've been remembering that time in Paris-we were so happy then! It was such a lovely time, and neither of us ever forgot. When you looked at me, I felt something so powerful, so strong, and so secure. Maybe I loved you...I don't know. There was definitely some form of connection! Whether it was love, I don't know, but the affection I fell for you was true!

_Been thinking about the bar we drank in.  
Feeling like __the sofa__ was sinking.  
I was warm in the hope of your eyes._

I hope you can hear these words in my head, because I know you will never read these words. But, if I know anything, you knew this already. You always do. Well, did now.

_So if my words break through the wall  
To meet you at your door,  
All I can say is "Girl, I mean them all."_

Dear darlin', please excuse my writing.  
I can't stop my hands from shaking  
'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight.

I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
And no one understands what we went through.  
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.

You know I'm struggling with this. I thought a letter would be my way of you knowing exactly how I felt, but I'm not the best at expressing my feelings...even on paper! I honestly don't know if I can cope with this Jenny. Without you being here, I feel so lost. So unbearably alone. So scared. I just want to hold you, one last time.

_Oh I can't cope. These arms are yours to hold.  
_  
Jenny, I'm going to miss you. We all will.

_And I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
And no one understands what we went through.  
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.  
We tried._

**So, this was my first attempt at NCIS. So what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Drop me a review and let me **


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